Sanctimosity Instead of Survivor's Remorse

A child of some close friends died recently. He was sixteen years-old, and he was doing things with friends that his parents would have warned him about, had they known what he was doing at the time. It made the news, and the outpouring of criticism was deafening.

Most of the comments made on the story about a child drowning after running from the cops talked about the remorse of him not getting another chance to set things straight. However, a few of the more vocal comments were about what seemed to be instant karma for someone who probably would not have made the same decisions had he known the results of his decisions.

It reminds me of the people who brag about surviving riding in the back of pickup trucks and station wagons without seat belts. Those who did not survive those rides, such as my neighbor's three children, are unnoticeably silent during those discussions these days.

As my daughter and I went through and challenged some of the vocal "karma posts," most of the people either did not respond, or responded with some remorse about what they said. Most people admitted that they may have been the child who suffered the instant karma at different points in life. 

I think back to things I did, like running toward Pacific Avenue and then grabbing the bus stop sign while a car was braking hard to not hit the kid who was seemingly running out in front of the car. I think about what if we had been caught breaking into one building to steal some things, or into another one to explore and vandalize. 

These were the results of bad decisions made with other kids making the same bad decisions, and not something that I deserved to die for. However, had I been caught, I would not have received a lot of public support for my behavior. If one of my friends had died, I would likely have survivor's remorse, which is when a survivor wonders why someone else died doing what we all were doing. 

Two of the people who commented went so far as to be sanctimonious rather than be grateful that they didn't suffer the fate they say this particular child deserved but they didn't.  In fact, they commiserated with each other about how lucky they were to get caught and do community service, while simultaneously denying my friends' child the ability to commiserate with them, at some point in the future.

Not only does it seem like they should feel some level of survivor's remorse, but what they say reeks of sanctimosity and not of charity.